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Here are other people,like you's storys of their suicide attempts,but they were given another chance and thankfully are still alive to tell their story, which in fact may be the reason they are still alive today,and maybe one day you will be one of those people who can use your story to help others as well.Think About it.Also, those few we sadly lost.Please look at the picture beside of this text,how can you resist those eyes?Or imagine that look being your little brother/sister,boyfriend/girlfriend,ex,son/daughter,best friend,etc. Begging you not to go through with it, not to do it.
Anonymous-
Alright, to shed a little light on my situation, I'll start with some background information...
History and reason for suicide attempt:My parents got divorced when I was 11 years old, and as if my life weren't already h*ll enough, the divorce made things worse. My dad became increasingly more abusive and angry and my mother became increasingly more depressed and angry... which meant that neither of them were physically or mentally fit to raise children, so I did. I have 4 younger siblings (2 of which came along after the divorce... my half brother and sister) and I ended up raising my 2 younger sisters. And to this day, my sister calls me her "other mother." Well, aside from the custody disputes, the abuse, and the constant hatred that my "family" flung back and forth at it each other, I had a ton of school problems. Because I am a minority, I've been called every name in the book and then some and I've also been physically abused (shoved, hit, spit on, etc). With all of this going on, I didn't have much time to make friends (though I did make a few) to talk to and I knew that I really couldn't talk to my parents... so I really was alone with my thoughts and feelings. Well, it all began to pile higher and higher until I broke.
This is where my story of suicide comes in... read on at your own risk.
Well, because of all the sh*t in my life, I decided that it would be best that I not exist.
suicide attempt: So, sitting in the bath one day, I decided to drown myself. I took a deep breath and went under... and just as things began to go dark and I strugged to breathe, I heard my baby half-sister crying and it all came clear now that I needed to be around for her... to maybe save her from my h*ll... so I surfaced and took a deep breath and continued living. A little while later (maybe a few months) I decided that I needn't live on any longer. So I once again decided to drown myself. This time though, I started to have and asthma attack and I started to hack and I had to come up and breathe... thus I lived on. And the third time (maybe a year after the second attempt), as the water began to run into my lungs, I heard my sister (who I love more than anything on this planet) crying in my mind... and I knew she needed me for just a little bit longer... and so I am here today.
Perspective on life now:Each time I tried to kill myself, something stopped me... just as I was on the brink of death. So I've decided that something must want me to live, and so I've made the best of my life since them. I will admit that I haven't done that great of a job, but I'm still alive. It's crazy to admit, but sometimes I wonder why I wanted to kill myself... until I get back into "that place" and I remember exactly why. But today, instead of trying to take my own life, I take my life into my own hands and shove my semi-quasi-success back in the faces of those who called me nothing. I'm going to make something of my life because I got a second chance... and a third chance... and I will forever be greatful.
Breys story
Suicide contimplated:I was planning on killing myself the night I first saw hanson in concert
I had a bottle of sleeping pills that I knew would stop my heart if I took more than three and I had a bottle of 250 pills and I was going to take them as soon as I got home from the concert.
What stopped her: and then I went to a Hanson concert and they played "save me" and I started to cry when I heard the words to the song and I relized that in the midst of all my depression I still had happy moments in my life like that one and that I could indeed let my hair down and be a teen and step back from having to always be the grown up and be responsible for everyone else
I bought the album at target on my way home and I put it in my cd player and I listed to save me as I flused my pills down the toilet and the next day I told my mom about my depression and she arranged for me to meet with a counselor on a weekly basis
and my life has changed drasticlly since
Someone we Lost To Suicide. Loretta Aimee Jameson born Jan.18,1986-Died Jan.2001
Well it is obvious that our beloved Lorretta is not here with us today to tell us her story, unfortunately a site like this wasn't available to her.She left behind a lot of people who loved her and she obviously didn't relies just how many.Her friend Brey lives on to tell the story of young Lori,let her story inspire you to live. Reason for Lori's death:She was pregnant and her family refused to let her have an abortion and her boyfriend was abusive and he threatend to take her baby from her and to torchere the baby the same as Lori if she had it and her sister had a baby at the same age as her and her parents disowned her and treated her badly Lori had a very abusive boyfriend he was 20 when she got pregnant and he would'nt just slap her every now and then hed rape her and litterally beat her until he got tired and Lori's parents did;nt care because her dad hit her mom and they thought it was fine and she just did'nt want to have a baby that would grow up with the same torchure day after day that she went through and she could'nt do that with her boyfriend or her parents
She told nobody that she was pregnant except for her bf and her mom and she was six and a half months pregnant when she commited suicide
We only knew the details because four days after she died everyone got their letters from her in the mail of her describing her depression
she had mailed them the day she died .I just know she would she did'nt hate her baby she just knew if she birthed it it would have had no quality in life and it would have sufferd immensely and she wanted more for her children she wanted them to grow up loved and wanted and cared for and she could not bear the the though of putting another child through what she had gone through and she knew thats how the baby would have lived and she did'nt want it so she killed herself to spare the baby
She had no access to resources such as adoption agencys or organizations that would help a teen moms or anything One of Lori's many friends impacted by her suicide speaks: had any one of her friend known it was that bad we would have helped her we would have done anything in the world to take away her pain but we never got the chance and what she thought to have been the girl nobody cared for had hundreds of people bawling there eyes out at her funeral and who said that she made a difference in there lives only she never knew she had that impact on people .it still affect me to this day I still hurt and cry over the fact that If I had a single clue that Loris homelife had been that bad or that she was that depressed I would have gone out of my way to help her My mom would have let her move in with us we both would have been there for her and if I was able to help her shed still be here
she was still loved and people still would have bent over backwards and given there life to help her and shes still missed . And to those of you who think you have more friends then enemies and no one would care about your death,that's not true.
Someone comes forth an speaks of the impact their worst enemies death had on them-"I'm still haunted by his death every day.I may have disliked him but I'd still give anything for him to be alive to fight and argue with just cause that would mean he would be here and I would have the chance to reconcile with him ".
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Anonymous
The story:My life to me was pure hell. I moved to tennesse with my family, and
periodically went to visit my grandmother. she is a manic depressant,
and
depression uns in my family. She even told me it was my fault my
grandfather dield because he was heartbroken that i moved away. I grew
up
with her the first 5 years of my life too, which didnt help..
Also, I am a very overweight girl, known as "morbid obese" now. that's
my
worst problem. I felt like there is no room for 'an ugly girl like me'
on
this world. I highly lacked self esteem, i hated everything about
myself.
I only had a handful of friends, and even they treated me bad
sometimes.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when i was 13, after i had
told
my mom after a big fight with my best friend that i wanted to kill
myself.
she contacted my doctor, my doctor prescribed paxil... i was on paxil
for
about 6 months, when the summer in between 8th and 9th grade
approached.
It was summer, and ive always hated summer... all the pretty skinny
girls
barely wearing anything, and i felt so out of place. i was starting to
get
true summer crushes, but still inside i was hating everypart of my
life..
people were playing pranks on me acting like they were my friend
because
"they felt sorry for me because i was so ugly." and i fell for it, they
had me sure that i was the ugliest person on earth. Also, i lost all
confidence in everything i did, i was discouraged by my skills on a
top-notch ball team.
what this later resorted to:I started burning myself. i was burning myself with a lighter because i
thought it'd help with the emotional pain. More or less it was a cry
for
help. my dad and i always fought, so one night after a big fight we
had, i
burned myself, and when that didnt help, i started cutting myself with
whatever i could find. Knives, razors, scissors, you name it
my medicine had quit working on me. a few weeks into summer, i was
raped
right outside of my house. that was the final straw.. after i reported
it
to the police and called my best friend... i told her it might be the
last
time she'd ever talk to me, and the only thing she said was "yeah right
you'd never kill yourself, you're too afraid to." that just pushed me
to
doing it...
that night, after my parents went to bed, i rummaged through the
medicine
cabinet and just got a handful of pills, not even knowing what they
were.
i then went into my bed and took all of them and laid down, trying to
let
myself rest in peace. I woke up the next morning with just a small
stomach
ache and high blood pressure... and still to this day i do not know
what
exactly i took and why i didnt die. I never tried again though...
Thing that saved me: One word- Hanson. I can truly thannk them for
keeping
me from being suicidal now. a few weeks after my attempt, I went to a
concert with one of my friends and had a blast. I loved their music so
i
bought their cd and opened the booklet to follow along with the lyrics.
I
was amazed at how deep the lyrics were, especially on their song
'Believe'. I was bawling when i first heard that song, because the
lyrics
were exactly how i felt. "it sounds like they went through a lot of
pain..
i go through a lot of pain.. maybe i could do this to" I started
writing
poetry about anything upset that was in my mind... suicide, death,
friend/family issues, whatever. they inspired me to write my pain out
on
paper, not through blisters and blood. I quit cutting myself when i
became
embarrassed of my scars on my legs and arms, it wasnt worth it to cut
myself. Also, when i was upset, i turned to my friends and my music. My
friends helped me soo much!! every time i felt like committing suicide,
my
friends remind me of the people that love me that would think it was
their
fault that i killed myself when truthfully i just had to face reality
and
realize how good i had it. I have a great mother, awesome friends, and
a
pretty decent life. Im still to this day trying to overcome my
depression
without the helps of drugs, thus I have to look at the brightside of
life
now... which truly is amazing.
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